Fuck the ex.

Well I’m pissed off. I just got home. It’s Tuesday afternoon at 3pm. I spent a deliriously beautiful two nights at his and then his ex called. Fuck the ex.

So it’s a bit of a long story. The Redneck (the guy whose trailer Jock is renting) had stored the ex’s car in his yard. They were friends and that’s how Jock knows him. Apparently The Redneck dated the ex a while back. I need to come up with a name for her. I think we might call her the Tattoo Artist Ex. Tattoo Ex for short.

Anyway, The Redneck had Tattoo Ex’s car in his yard. She hasn’t paid storage like I guess she said she would do and he’s pissed off that it has been left at his for so long when it was only meant to have been there for a short time. From what I can make out, and I could be wrong, he said something to her about coming to get the car, she replied with this Friday being the best time for her before her “hospital appointment”. You know; just in case we had forgotten that she had been given the “all-clear” almost two years ago, after a year-long fight with breast cancer. Anyway, that isn’t a good time as both The Redneck and Jock will be working and not available to let her in and grab the car. She’s sticking to her time. Let the battle commence. It’s ridiculous really – playground stuff.

She messaged Jock this morning about the car. Jock is trying not to get involved apparently; he wants nothing to do with it. It has nothing to do with him. He messaged her asking if he could get her daughter (his step-daughter) from school still. She sent him a Facebook message asking him to call her. I guess she has no credit on her pikey pay as you go phone. He calls her. She talks to him about the car. Once again, he replies that he doesn’t want to get involved.

Now, ladies and gentlemen; it’s not what he said, it’s how he said it. The guy on the phone to her was not the same guy that I’m dating. This guy was meek and timid; it seemed to me that he’d never said “no” to her before. It clearly wasn’t comfortable for him telling her that he didn’t want to get involved. To be fair, it was the first time he’d ever spoken on the phone to her before in front of me so maybe he was just trying to play it cool? Either way, it startled me.

Now, earlier on today, Jock and I had a mini-fight. It wasn’t a real fight. It was a play fight. We have these sometimes. You know what I mean – it’s not serious stuff; it’s playful and it never lasts for very long. Like foreplay, I guess? I knew he had wanted to go and pick his step-daughter up from school at 3pm ish. I had made plans to see The Bestie at 4pm. I had assumed that Jock would take me home before he went to grab his daughter. I assumed wrong clearly as he had other plans. He had intended for me to stay at his while he went out and finish off some writing work I hadn’t gotten around to doing. He would then come home, we would have dinner together and then take me home later on that night.

The phone call took him from basically begging to keep me (kinda), not wanting to take me home at all to getting me out of the trailer – from pi’s and last night’s makeup to fully dressed and walking out to the car in 6 minutes.

He drove the entire way home at 95mph. The usual 45-minute journey (give or take depending on traffic, etc.) took just 20 minutes. We had gotten from his trailer at 13:46 to practically where I lived at 14:05. A few minutes of stalling the car (it was playing up, probable because he’d ragged it the entire way there) and we were at mine where I got out the car, kissed him on the cheek and slammed the door into my house. I was pissed.

Who drives that damn fast? He knows I hate it. He knows I freak out a bit. Why would he drive like that in the car? I know he was rushing to see the kid but even if he had driven at a regular pace, he would have got there on time. He Facebook messaged me just a few minutes ago asking if I hated him and if we were okay. I said I’d talk to him later but we were “fine”.

We are not fine but I don’t want to ruin the time he has with the kid. He only sees her once per week as it is. I’m annoyed for a whole bunch of reasons.

I need to calm down before I give him the speech. Otherwise it’s going to end up in a fight for sure. A part of me is thinking I might be overreacting a tad  but at the same time, why should I settle for anything less than what makes me happy?

The guy on the phone to her is not a guy that would make me happy. It makes me wonder what sort of control she still has over him, and why? I know I’m probably being a tad dramatic about it all but that sorta thing just pisses me off. He goes all silverback gorilla whenever a guy so much as looks in my direction, but the ex springs up while I’m still in my pj’s on a Tuesday lunchtime, and it’s not okay for me to get pissed off about a woman that clicks her fingers and make him go running?

I wonder what she’s going to want to talk to him about? I think she’s getting married to the guy that’s been living with her for a while, but has only just come out to Jock and been honest about it. The daughter has mentioned “mummy getting married” so I think it’s only a matter of time before it happens. I don’t know how Jock will react to this and that scares me a little.

It’s not nice for any girlfriend to have to deal with the “ex-factor” but at the same time, I wouldn’t expect any girl to watch their fabulous new man-friend that has captured her heart, practically “yes ma’am” down the phone to his ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend that just happened to have cancer, be the mother to his step-daughter, and steal his heart for four years before me. Sorry… ex-fiancee.

Oh and this brings me nicely to my next point. He’s not proposing to me for my birthday. (Click the link and read how I thought he was gonna propose… Embarrassing.) He’s told me what’s he’s doing with the other shoe and he’s giving it to me for Valentine’s Day. How romantic. We actually had a marriage-related conversation. We’re NOT getting married. He’s made that perfectly clear. Don’t worry – he didn’t just come out and say it. He suggested it with hints that were about as subtle as a house brick. He’s NEVER going to propose. For the girl that didn’t want to get married again, it wasn’t something she wanted to hear. It just proves my point – WOMEN DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY FUCKING WANT.

It was gutting really. But hey-ho, I’m not with him for the big rock, the expensive wedding and the fancy venue. I’m with him because I love him. Well, most of the time anyway.

Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe I’m being the crazy bitch again. To be honest, I’ve missed this part of the relationship. The part where shit gets thrown around and misconstrued. Tiny little worlds get over-analysed and torn into shreds. You fight so you can make up. Well that’s how it is for me anyway. Do I really think that I have something to worry about with the ex? I didn’t before. I do now. I shall discuss it with him later on tonight and figure it all out. We have one of those really adult conversations where you can actually discuss your problems without the need to scream and shout. It’s pretty cool to be fair – may I suggest you give it a bash?

Maybe I’ll take the grown-up approach and chat to him about it later?